When I come back to the things I wrote some time ago, sometimes I can hardly believe that I could write something that stupid. I don’t have anybody who could give my writings some criticism and make comments on them. Well, I get an impression that all this nonsense I write about is too personal and yet too foolish to show… So how can I know whether I’m promising or doomed to failure? It’s only me who can produce such crazy and mundane things. I’d be put off if I was to read something like that at school. Umm, it was OK today, I guess. I was gobsmacked when it dawned on me that I got a +C from a chemistry test! How great. I expected an F. And now I see how unfair it is. I swot, I learn as much as it’s possible for a long time and then I got a C from a test, especially a Biology one. And when, for example, History does not matter to me at all, I hardly prepare and then get an A or a B. How on earth is this possible? I’m freakin crazy about it. I’m aware that school is not the most important thing in life but it overwhelms me so much that I’m slowly losing all my instincts, falling into darkness.
Hm, darkness. How much I like this word. Just because. In terms of visibility, I prefer light, that’s obvious. But regarding the word in itself, “darkness” is more poetic, I know… it gives a kind of inspiration. Darkness. Darkness. Closing walls, anxiety, loneliness. The dark side of the soul. Haunting, poignant, bitter memories. Irony. Deception.


LIFE.